cause i got a little cooler
http://sadblossom.tumblr.com/

i got 2 birds! nicki and drake!
almost got young money up in here!
ha ha.
life has been ok.
got in a huge fight with nathan yesterday, he was mad i called his family stupid, on mr. blakes facebook. but of course, when i turn the tables and say they dont like me, he just blows up. and goes on about how im an ignorant bitch. and i just quietly turn off my laptop. go to fridays. and drink. lots. and order a steak. with potatoes. and mom and whitney show up. we continue to drink long into the night. cussing loudly. and asking the waitress for drinks she doesnt know. then go shopping. we go to gamestop. we go to walmart. target. i get mulch. flowers. controllers. whatever. we end up back at my place playing video games and drinking, nathan being all pissed off. he gets over it, eventually.
he passes out, we paint his big toe. we go to the bar across the street, and i whoop their asses at pool. something about when im drunk, im actually confident in my shots. i made like 9 shots, i couldnt have made otherwise, as i second guess my shots.
now im somewhat hung over. on the couch eating oatmeal with my dog.
accounting test today, lame.
i did very badly on the last one.
very very badly
whatever. live and burn.

together we shut it down.

cheevos
what i eat for breakfast

TA says ive won 711 cheevos =]
small victory, but i roll with it.
my cousin loves me more then usual, its weird for whitney to be like that. shes always been so distant and weird. she broke my heart when she went back to versailles, even though shes back now. she just lost her fiance, child, and best friend in the same week. but not too long ago she left me all alone at that target job. confused as fuck. everybody leaves me, its inevitable. nathans different, we were made from the same cloth, velvet, perhaps. my knees hurt, they suck. i hate them. people who spent a year ignoring my ass suddenly concerned with my well being. it is what it is. and im not going to change it. i probably dont deserve their attention anyway. but yet i cant really seem to care.

bout to get my ctc paid for, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. finally going to be going to a good school. doing something i want. been a long time since i felt motivated. been a long time since i was excited about school, and its been awhile since i could make up my stupid mind. just getting it done. yeah, five hour days and long days at hospitals will be nasty. but hey, just get it fucking done so i can start making like 18 dollars and hour and just get it over with, so i can have a normal life. get a bigger house. with a yard. get a boat. get parts for the truck. grow better knees. get my shit together. whatever. im soooo ready to start building my life. im so glad i could find somebody to do it with.

somebody that wont run off at the first sign of trouble. somebody who isnt a slut. someone who understands the military parts. someone who tolerates me at my worst, and loves me at my best. someone who understands i like to listen to young money loudly in my car, and rap off key. someone who lets my buy hair extension and love my dog. somebody who will watch star trek and play versus with me. someone who can just pack up a bag and go to some unknown destination with me just so we can take a hot shower long enough for the wallpaper to melt. someone who will let me read every label of every tampon at target so i make the right decision. someone who will let me grind food into the floor. someone who will vacuum for me. someone who lets me drive once in awhile. someone that doesnt make fun of me for eating everything with a fork. someone who loves steak just as much as me. someone who tells me my boobs like nice. someone who lets me buy fizzy pop incense. someone who lets me plant flowers outside for us to watch grow. someone who tells me what i want to hear, and things i should hear. someone who doesnt give up on me. doesnt give up on us. someone who wont let me go. someone who wont let me down. who someone who isnt bullshit. ive outgrown it. ive outgrown the games. the drama. im just done. im so tired. im ready to settle down. and nathans the one to settle with.

blah de blah blah.
drill was somewhat sucessful this weekend. saturday was KP, terrible KP. i found sgt gordon and freakin busted my guts out, i accomplished a lot. they are kinda reclassing me. which i am thrilled about. i dont have to go to AT, which got switched last minute to mississippi. they are shipping nathan to mississippi with everyone else, and making him go to WLC, two weeks in camp ravenna to do stupid NCO shit, but its all good. its extra money and he got promoted, so he deserved it.
today was a family picnic. mom and i sat and people watched by this bouncer, and nathan pretty much blew me off to be with leach, insisting his chain of command would flip if we exchanged affection or attention, whatever. its mostly in his head. i got more flowers today, my garden is beautiful!
the truck is beautiful! got a truck! its super awesome. i <3 it. nothing stops me now. whatever stopped me in the car, can just drive over it with the truck. its been a long time since i been excited about anything.
got a truck
got a car
got money
got a house
got a dog
got a soldier bf (who can understand me on a deeper level then any stupid wanna be military or civilian bf)
got a garden
got a picket fence...
what else could i want? what more could i ever need?
a boat. your right. i need a boat
so i can fish
for ever.